Dorkus Split
by PumpkinQueen13
Summary: <html><head></head>After failed plan after another, Dorkus had just about given up. Just as he's about to throw in the towel, something finally clicks; he'll split himself into two. Will this new never before tested plan work, or will it blow up in his face like all the others? Set after the events of "Banana Quest." R & R! Comments welcomed.</html>
1. Prologue

**Greetings, everyone~ **

**This here be my third Planet Sheen Fanfic that takes place after "Banana Quest" the "last" episode hence the episode reference in this chapter alone.**

**I hope you all enjoy, and I encourage you all to read my other Planet Sheen fanfiction~!**

**Your Pumpkin Queen, Connie Smith**

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><p>The last thing Dorkus remembered before losing consciousness was him scolding the Fruit Hobo about not giving him the yellow peely fruit that Sheen called a "banana."<p>

Suddenly, he felt a pair of wings gently hitting his face, trying to get him to come to. "Milord, are you all right?" A meek voice asked. Dorkus cracked open his eyes and saw that it was none other than his most loyal companion, Pinter.

Dorkus tried to speak, but his breathing was a bit haggard given his current position of being trapped from the neck up. He looked around his surroundings before looking at Pinter as if to ask where he was.

"Mount Pretty Pretty, sir." Pinter answered as he flew near Dorkus' head to straighten his black hood.

Dorkus inwardly growled to himself; he was so close! And he would have succeeded if he wasn't halted by falling or being beaten up by a bunch of neat freaks.

With Dorkus' anger at a boiling point, he struggled harshly to remove himself from within the mountain, attempting to move his trapped arms. First came his left arm, which was easier to free than his right, and he started to claw at the part of the mountain where his neck was trapped. Once he managed to free his neck, he let out a loud gasp of air and started working on his other arm which proved to be a bit of a trial since it was trapped at an angle, seething a bit when he felt his skin being scraped by the mountain's roughness.

"Grock, that hurts…" he said hoarsely. As soon as his other arm was freed, he pushed upward in order to get his legs out, which were the easiest to free. Once freed, he exhaled and collapsed on the ground, his arms exhausted from the pressure of pushing and pulling his own weight, plus making the treacherous mountain climb already made his arms give out once he reached the top.

"Oh, my liege. I'm so happy you're all right!" Pinter cried with joy and landed near Dorkus' downed form.

Dorkus coughed as he lifted himself up to a sitting position, grabbing Pinter while doing so. "No thanks to you, Pinter…" He mumbled and cleared his throat a few times for him to talk clearly again.

"You didn't ask, sir." Pinter said solemnly, giving Dorkus a nervous grin.

Dorkus rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't have to." He said and carefully stood up. He then looked at the sky to see the suns setting. "Night is almost upon us, we have to get down and head on home." Dorkus said, approaching the ledge of the mountaintop with Pinter still in his grip.

Pinter felt a wave of nausea come over him as he looked down from the tall steep mountain. "Sir, please don't—"

"Down I go!" Dorkus shouted and he jumped off the top, running alongside the mountain, ignoring Pinter's screaming while jumping down ledge from ledge, being careful not to miss. When he reached the bottom of the mountain, Pinter continued to scream, his eye shut tight. "We're at the bottom, Pinter. You can look now." Dorkus said. When Pinter didn't open his eye, he frowned. "Y'know, you could've just flown to the ground." He said to the small shaking frame in his grip and started walking. He had to take a different route to get back home since the bridge he had fallen from was out of commission and he was taking no chances of getting beaten up again with his cloak being filthy.

"There now, Pinter. Tomorrow morning we'll brainstorm our plans to destroy Sheen, all right?" Dorkus said, looking down at Pinter who has calmed down slightly. Pinter shakily nodded as he snuggled up against his master's cloak, enjoying the warmth that was emanating from it.

Dorkus sighed, annoyed at Pinter's display of affection, but figured it would be fine for the moment as tomorrow would be another day.


	2. Chapter 1

"Take him to the Valley of the Unpleasant Holes and throw him in?"

"That was my second plan, and he'll just come back."

"Give him a personal bomb?"

"Backfired."

"Use a potion to grow to ten times your normal height?"

"Pinter you know that made nothing but my back-end grow, yes?"

"Ohhh..."

Dorkus sighed and slammed his head on his desk, groaning at his numerous failed plans. "I've basically tried everything, Pinter. It's either Sheen escaping death and somehow making them backfire while I am nearly killed, or I am somehow the one in trouble because of it..." He said, pulling his hood down further to cover most of his face.

Pinter frowned at Dorkus' frustration and landed on the desk in front of him, gently petting at his master's hood. "There now, sir. At least you didn't have to stay in the Tower for long..." He sighed, remembering when Sheen had proven Nesmith's innocence when he was wrongly accused of eating the Emperor's prized Pierrotwatza, Bee-baw; after Sheen won the case, the Emperor sent Dorkus to the Tower because the Emperor though that someone had to be punished or it would be such a "let-down."

Thankfully, Dorkus was let out a couple days later; Sheen and Nesmith had secured his freedom after they explained to the Emperor that only the guilty party needed to be punished and not the one that lost the case. Pinter knew this because, while he was waiting for his master, he had spied on their discussion and was relieved after hearing that Dorkus could go free.

"Pinter, your silence is most unsettling, awkward really. Thinking about something?" Dorkus spoke suddenly, startling Pinter out of his brief reminiscing.

"U-uh...no, sir. Forgive me, my liege." Pinter stammered.

Dorkus then looked up at him and smiled. "Don't worry. I won't punish you if you do." He said while tilting his head to the side.

_It's that smile again...!_ Pinter thought but smiled back nonetheless.

As quickly as it appeared, it disappeared and Dorkus' scowl returned. He rose from his chair and headed back towards his bedroom.

Pinter called after him. "Sir?"

"Just keep yourself occupied for the time being. I'll be in my room attempting to improve my failed plans." Dorkus said before closing the door.

Alone, Pinter looked around the room. "Hmmm...something to do...I know!" He said in delight and flew over to the potions' cabinet. "I'll rearrange these and alphabetize them and..."

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><p>While Pinter was busy trying to preoccupy himself, Dorkus was lying on his stomach on his bed, his face buried in his pillow. "Why do I even bother...? I can't kill him...there's no way...Maybe it's time for me to just give up and stop trying..." Dorkus sighed and closed his eyes.<p>

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><p>"There!" Pinter exclaimed joyfully at the organized potions. "Everything is alphabetized and organi-huh, what's this?" Pinter asked aloud when he saw a misplaced potion near the very bottom shelf. He flew down and gently spinned it around to see what it was. He noticed that the writing on it wasn't Zeenuian; well it was, sort of. Just that instead of the letters being written as actual words, the letters were rearranged into a different language.<p>

Something finally clicked in his small brain. "Ah, it's _his _language...hmmm...I can't quite read it, I'm sure that he can..." He said and proceeded to his master's room.

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><p><strong>A few episode references are as follows:<strong>

**First suggestion was from the Pilot episode.**  
><strong>Second suggestion was from <span>"Boy Next Dorkus."<span>**  
><strong>Third suggestion was from <span>"Torzilla."<span>**  
><strong>Pinter's reminisce was from <span>"Trial by Jerry."<span>**

**A previous fanfic reference is when Dorkus is legitimately smiling and it's not portrayed as evil. Refer to the end of _Hesitation_ to understand the reference.**

**A theory of mine as to how Dorkus still continued to make an appearance even if he was thrown in the Tower at the end of "Trial by Jerry." The Tower is called "The Tower of 20 Years" whereas the person is condemned to stay there for 20 years. Dorkus was thrown in there because he had lost the case as persecutor/prosecutor. The theory is that before the episode pair that came after "Trial by Jerry," Sheen and Nesmith had talked to the Emperor about how only the guilty party of the case was to be punished, and since no one was guilty of the crime, it entailed that no one was to be sent to the Tower. Sheen and Nesmith manage to secure Dorkus' freedom by doing this and Dorkus was let free about a couple of days later.**

**As for Dorkus' language, his language is Koratian/Soruan. It isn't Zeenuian, but at the same time it is sorta because they pretty much use the same exact letters, except it's rearranged differently. If you all notice, the Zeenuian letters are arranged so that they spell out English words; the letters are Greek. Koratian/Soruan language uses Greek letters also but they are actual Greek words.**


	3. Chapter 2

With the mysterious potion being held by his feet, Pinter carefully flew towards Dorkus' bedroom and lightly knocked with one of his wings, the other wing keeping him afloat.

"Dorkus, sir...my liege...?" Pinter called out from behind the door; silence followed after which prompted Pinter to open the door and let himself in.

Pinter saw that Dorkus was asleep, his master's chest slowly, but steadily, rising and falling with every breath. Gently placing the bottled substance on the nightstand, Pinter flew near Dorkus' head and carefully landed on Dorkus' nose, the indentations keeping him in place. Pinter was about to close his eye and take a short nap, when Dorkus' mouth suddenly opened and let out a loud snore which made Pinter jump in alarm.

When Dorkus snored again, the air that was going inside him pulled Pinter along with it and Pinter had gotten lodged in between Dorkus' teeth. It wasn't the first time this happened thankfully, because a couple occasions, when Dorkus was laughing maniacally and sadistically, Pinter had wanted to listen to his master's laugh closer and purposefully lodged himself inside. This time it was by complete accident.

It was only a matter of time before Dorkus would realize Pinter was in his mouth. That time came rather quickly when Dorkus made a soft grunt and his clawed hand made its way towards his gaping mouth towards Pinter.

Pinter let out a gasp when he felt himself being grabbed and roughly dislodged. _Oh dear..._ He thought in dread.

Once he was removed from Dorkus' mouth, he heard a snort and slowly turned around to see his unimpressed lord. "Oh, he-hello, sir, have a good nap?" Pinter asked shyly.

Dorkus' red eyes narrowed. "I was until you got in my mouth...how many times do I have to tell you that the inside of my mouth is not a place to sleep in?" He asked, sitting up slightly.

"Truth be told, sir, this was by total accident. You snored." Pinter said as he looked up at Dorkus.

Dorkus rolled his eyes. "Sure. I'll go with that." He said and glanced over at his nightstand; he didn't quite recognize the purple liquid until it started to split into two of the colors that mixed; red and blue. Seeing it made Dorkus sit up all the way and turned towards it.

"Where did you find this, Pinter?" Dorkus asked lowly, taking the potion in his hand and started to examine it.

Pinter landed on Dorkus' shoulder. "It was in your potions cabinet, sir. More specifically it was placed away from your other potions on the bottom shelf." Pinter explained and watched as Dorkus turned the bottle to where the label was facing them. "I figured it was your language since I couldn't make out any words. The reason why I had come in here." He said; Dorkus didn't move an inch as he continued to stare at it.

"If I may ask, what is it? What does it say, my liege?" Pinter asked; if Dorkus was getting upset, he figured he would have to ask the right questions.

"It says...'diplótypo,' which means 'duplicate.'" Dorkus answered. "This was basically one of the first potions I've ever created. The reason why it is in this language is because I was only around fourteen years old and I didn't know how to write in Zeenuian yet. Back then, I tested it on inanimate objects; but the result was that it didn't separate all the way and instead they were conjoined. I continued to work on it and overtime, it was...perfect. But it only worked on inanimate objects. I don't think it will work on a person for I am afraid it will have different, yet disastrous, results." He finished explaining and, with a sigh, he placed the potion back down.

"But sir," Pinter started and jumped to the nightstand, "this could be a good opportunity; be two places at once. One of you goes to work at the palace while the other you goes after Sheen." He explained the plan as he watched the colors merge again.

Dorkus leaned his head on his hand, "While that's true, what if it backfires and one of them somehow gains a separate personality that is not of my own?" He groaned. "Besides I have to wait a certain time and I have to consume all of it for it to supposedly work."

"Why wait, Dorkus?"

Dorkus picked up the potion and pointed at the swirling purple liquid. "Because if I do it while the colors are merged, nothing will happen, and I can't replicate it because I don't have the materials I need. So, in short, it would be a waste; the colors separate once per day and it could be during any time of day. However, I'd guess that since the colors separated in the morning, that tomorrow they'd do it again in the afternoon." He explained and set it back down.

"Now, does that answer your question, Pinter?"

"Of course, sir." Pinter nodded.

Their brief moment of silence was cut off when something came flying through Dorkus' bedroom window and bumped the nightstand, making the potion tip over on its side and proceeded downwards to the ground.

Thinking fast, Dorkus threw himself forward and barely caught it by the nozzle. He held it close to himself and glared out his now broken window. "Sheen!" He growled loud enough for the one outside to hear.

Outside, Doppy and Aseefa looked at the Earth boy with dread, while Nesmith had his hand on his face in annoyance.

"Aww, come on, guys, it's not like this hasn't happened before, remember when we played baseball? Well, you weren't there, Aseefa, but Doppy and Nesmith were." Sheen said and placed his hands on his hips.

"This is a bigger ball this time, Sheen, look at the damage." Nesmith said and pointed to the completely destroyed window.

Sheen groaned. "Fine. Sorry Dorkus! I can't throw straight! See? He'll get it." He called before turning his attention back to his trio of friends.

"Shouldn't you ask him to give the ball back, Sheen?" Aseefa asked.

"Oh yeah! Hey, Dorkus, can you throw back the ball or somethin'?!" Sheen called out again.

Looking around the room, Dorkus spotted it near the bed, barely missing the spikes on his bed. Putting the potion back down, he walked over to it and picked it up. It felt rough and leathery in his hands as he examined it closely. It was a pointed oval shape, and once he turned it a certain way he saw what appeared to be lace in a particular design.

"How strange..." Pinter muttered. "We don't have those here, it must be an Earth object." He concluded.

"Dorkus! We're waiting!"

"Patience, Sheen." Aseefa scolded.

"Yeah, what if he doesn't give it back?" Doppy frowned.

Faking a smile, Dorkus looked out the window and displayed the object. "You mean this, right?!" He shouted out. Sheen nodded and put his arms up so he could catch it; the others, with the exception of Nesmith,following his action. "Before I give it back, what is it?!"

"You don't know what a football is?!" Sheen asked in shock. "It's only the most fun sport ever! Maybe you could play with us! You can be Quarterback, you'll win quarters!"

Nesmith shook his head. "Sheen that is not what a Quarterback does..."

"Oh, sir, that sounds like great fun! Maybe we shoul-" Pinter was stopped when Dorkus grabbed his lips.

"As much as I'd _love_ to play, Sheen, I have more important things to do in my spare time! You understand right, my dear boy?!" Dorkus exclaimed and, just as he was about to drop the ball, Sheen spoke up again.

"Sure, man! I always leave the best position for my bestest friend!"

"He's so lucky..." Doppy sighed.

_Such a nice boy...considerate at times...Oh! What am I thinking?! I am not, nor will I ever be friends with an alien!_ "Thanks! Here's your ball!" Dorkus called and dropped the ball where Sheen, Doppy, and Aseefa were squabbling about to see who could catch it. Dorkus watched as Sheen was the one who caught it and the friends resumed in their merriment.

Turning away from the window, Dorkus released Pinter and grabbed his potion again. "Thank heavens this was corked." He said and proceeded downstairs.

"Um, sir, what do we usually do in our free time?" Pinter asked as he followed Dorkus.

"Don't worry, I'll think of something. Anything to keep away from him. At least until night."


End file.
